10/14/2022
If we've worked together, you know how I feel about this! You are the boss! Your child is fed, clothed, and loved - they will survive sleep training, teeth brushing, and medicine taking.
Attention, parents of toddlers.
They are not in charge. You are in charge.
Repeat that. 9 times. To yourself.
Let me share some lectures I (lovingly) gave in my office today to tired and defeated (and excellent) parents.
Because i somehow had like 800 toddlers on my schedule, and it was a very loud day.
- Sleeping is boring. And since all humans naturally wake a few times a night, little humans in particular don't like the boringness. So they scream. And you go in. And you provide some fun distraction and entertainment. The screaming worked! Huzzah! And they fall asleep with your help and coaxing. And you put them in the crib. And go back to bed. And then they scream again. Rinse. Repeat. It's a cycle. It's action, and reaction. If they're feeling well, it's okay to wait 15-20 min (or more...) to break the habit. And that's what it is - a habit. Regressions are common in toddlers. Because....they're psychos. Such cute psychos.
- When they're being extra in a store (see my sweet angel below in Target), GASP LOUDLY. Gasp and gasp! You will distract them. You will get their attention. You will hand them - GASP! - that shoe horn! That package of pretzels! That pack of gum! Whatever! And they will be distracted from spewing the fire of a thousand suns! Gasp!
- Toddlers don't really eat hearty, well-rounded meals. They eat snacks. They are better at understanding their hunger cues than you are. And it's okay if the "snack" you offer them is last night's chicken. Or tofu. Or meatballs. Or a hard-boiled egg. Or tomatoes. Make that snack count.
(This next one is for all the people who work in pediatric healthcare. You're welcome)
- "He won't take his medicine. I tried, but he didn't want to."
This is when i take a deep breath, look you in the eyes, and tell you to put on your big girl pantaloons. Im sorry. I know.
Toddlers love to fight meds. But sometimes they just really freakin' need medication. So you need to be in charge. YOU ARE IN CHARGE.
Do not talk about giving the medicine. Do not give warnings. Do not play up the taste. Do not tiptoe around the idea. Do not announce it's happening. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Quickly and quietly lay them down. Gently hold the flailing arms of rage. Lay on top of the kicking legs of fury. Gently and very slowly, wedge the medicine syringe between the teeth to rest it along the inner cheek. Then, SLOWLY, dripping one drop at a time, give the medication. If you shoot it all in, they'll just barf or spit it up. So go slooowwwwwlllly. This may take over a minute or two. But it nearly always works. And you thus prove to the little terrorist that you are, in fact, in charge.
See also:
"He doesn’t like when i pour water on his head so I don't wash him much."
And: "She won’t let me brush her teeth.”
And: “He won’t let me put in the ear drops”.
And: “She won’t let me suction her nose”.
You. Are. In charge. Remember that. Dr. Diane has your back in this Fight Club.
I need a drink. And so to you. Toddlers exhaust us all.
(I say this all with love i promise, and i repeated these lectures to myself over and over when my kids were toddlers!)
🥰 DA
