30/08/2024
Life over 60
DITCH HAPPINESS, EMBRACE PURPOSE
Out kayaking last Sunday, I thought a lot two things: happiness and direction.
Happiness is a strange thing.
For the first 40 years of life, happiness was very connected to “real time.” Like how I felt “right now.”
I pursued happiness as if was linked to something attainable, something I thought I needed to achieve, something tangible.
I pursued a career, I pursued love, I pursued a single digit handicap, I pursued a steeper slope, a better car, I pursued whatever I thought would make me happy.....
My “what makes me happy list” was huge.
Over 60, I have crested and passed mid-life. A colossal chunk of life is behind me and not in front of me.
Am I happy? Well, yes.
Are you happy right now, well no, actually the word content would be a better fit…
I am not happy about the three stints in my heart or the fact that I jog like a pregnant elephant.
I am not happy that I have a red box with 4 vertical and 7 horizontal rows making an aggregate of 28 square bins, each filled with pills of various colors to chug every morning….
But if I look over the past years, yes, I feel good.
I feel good that I simply tried to make a difference where I could, be a good husband, a decent role model for my children and society at large …though I have yet to take my mother to the spa…and I feel guilty about that.
But yes, come to think of it, I am happy right now and mostly it’s because of the past, not something tied to the present.
All those years, those decades of life behind me of trying to live a life of purpose have filled my soul with just that, with happiness.
I guess that’s it.
Happiness is more a byproduct of perhaps seeking and having purpose than things, status or success.
At 20, I had a compass in my heart with a needle pointing to the unknown. Who would I marry, how many children would I have, would I be poor, where would I live, would I have a good life?
At that time, life was all about venturing into the unknown and finding direction.
Which path would I choose and just where exactly would that path take me.
At 60+, I am still searching for direction. Crazy but it’s true. Every day I am looking for direction and making decisions that will affect my future.
Still at this age, each decision I make creates who I am.
No one else is making my decisions, not even the doctor – well come to think of it, my doctor and my adult offspring have far too much leverage these days…
Through everyday decisions, I am still creating me, who I am, where am I going. The responsibility of life is completely on my shoulders.
Every day I choose to exercise, or not to exercise, will affect my cardio vascular system.
Every day I choose to believe in myself, or not to believe in myself, will affect my esteem.
Every day I choose to give of myself, money, or time, or not to give of myself, money or time, will affect others and myself.
At 60+, I need direction, not because I am lost, but because I need to have a place in this world.
Direction now is linked to my feelings and my capabilities, not dreams and I don’t want to do things I mislike. Been there, done that.
Feelings indicate direction, a path – they are telling me what I must do to be happy. What do I like? What experiences do I want? What type of people do I want to spend my time with? The answers to these questions are powerful, because they indicate to me, my place in this world.
Along with feelings, I need to evaluate capabilities. What am I good at? What skills do I have? Abilities also indicate direction – leading to a path of things I do best.
Maybe it is all so simple, this happiness and direction.
Possibly happiness and direction boils down to answering just three questions:
What do I believe in? What do I like? And what do I do best?
Possibly your happiness and direction boils down to answering just three questions. What are they?
