11/10/2025
So you probably don’t know if you’ve not been following my travel journey on Polar Steps (link here if you are interested) but I ended up getting re-routed (not by choice) from India to Sri Lanka for my month’s break before I start my new job in November.
Read the full story here : “When India Said Not Yet, Sri Lanka Said Come Home’ at https://www.polarsteps.com/JillTosi/
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The Hangover from Resilience
It’s not dehydration. It’s not illness.
It’s the hangover from resilience.
My body has finally realised it can stop fighting.
Since May 7th - the day Ronald left - I’ve been in survival mode.
Holding everything together, sorting finances, borrowing money (thankyou ) to make ends meet, wondering how to navigate the storm, making financial plans, closing the business, finishing commissions, giving the last workshops, switching gears, finding a new job, keeping the roof over my head, and generally just keeping my head above water.
Even when I was crumbling inside, I kept going.
And now that l’ve stopped, my body’s caught up.
There’s a vague sore throat, a dull, fuzzy pain in my ears, and the lingering ache in my neck.
It’s not pain — it’s release.
The adrenaline that’s carried me for months has nowhere left to go but out.
I’m sitting still now. Taking it slowly.
Drinking water. Letting my nervous system exhale after months of holding its breath.
This is the aftershock of strength — the quiet, tender recovery that no one sees.
Not collapse, but surrender.
Not weakness, but the long-awaited permission to rest.
Right — it’s my turn now.
1st photo: my new (first ever) tattoo is of a pine tree — the delicate Japanese-style pine tree on the inside of my middle finger
- is a symbol of resilience and quiet strength 🌲