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True You Coaching: Trauma-informed Transformational Coach

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Congleton
True You Coaching: Trauma-informed Transformational Coach

For those who want more than surface-level change. I’ll be taking on clients once I’m fully qualified. Counselling often focuses on the past.

I work in a calm, grounded way, shaped by Counselling, Internal Family Systems Therapy, and Transformational Coaching. I’m Becky - and I work with people who look like they’re doing fine on the outside, but feel stuck, lost, or quietly exhausted from holding it all together. I’m currently training in transformational coaching with Paseda360 and Internal Family Systems, qualifying in summer 2026. T

raditional coaching tends to look at the present and the future. My coaching works across all of it - because that’s how humans actually work. Our past experiences don’t stay neatly behind us. They shape how safe we feel, how we relate to others, how we make decisions, and whether we trust ourselves today. And without understanding that, moving forward can feel forced or frustrating. You don’t need to have lived through a huge, life-changing trauma for something to have left an imprint. Many people I’m drawn to work with have spent years people-pleasing, staying small, or living in survival mode without realising it. On the surface, life looks fine. Inside, something feels off. This work gently helps you understand how you learned to cope - with compassion, not blame - while supporting real change in the present and clearer choices for the future. Nothing here is about fixing you. It’s about understanding yourself, reconnecting with who you really are, and moving forward in a way that feels steady, grounded, and true. If any of that feels familiar, you’re very welcome here 🤍

31/05/2026

Client: A friend has just done something I’ve wanted to do, and I feel really angry with her about it.

Therapist: Thank you for being honest. That’s not always easy to admit. Shall we slow it down and see what’s underneath the anger?

Client: I feel awful feeling it. I should be happy for her.

Therapist: A part of you thinks you should feel happy. And another part feels angry. Can we make space for both? They are both very welcome.

Client: Yes.

Therapist: Close your eyes if that feels ok. Where do you notice the angry part in or around your body?

Client: In my chest. It feels hot.

Therapist: How do you feel towards the angry part?

Client: Quite curious about it actually.

Therapist: Stay with that hot feeling. What does the angry part want you to know?

Client: That it’s not fair. She’s just gone and done it. I’ve wanted that for so long.

Therapist: Ask the angry part what it’s most upset about.

Client: That she did it and I didn’t.

Therapist: And if you had done it, what would that have meant?

Client: That I was confident and brave.

Therapist: Stay with that. What feels scary about being confident and brave?

Client: Erm, being seen. People judging me. Getting it wrong.

Therapist: So is the anger really about your friend?

Client: Actually, no I guess not. It’s about me wanting it too and I'm frustrated that I haven't.

Therapist: So, what I'm hearing is that you really want to do it too. However, you feel scared to let yourself have it incase it goes wrong, so you hold yourself back, but feel angry with yourself about it. Have I got that right?

Client: Yes. Wow. It's not about her at all is it!

Therapist: So, what is the real fear underneath YOU doing the thing?

Client: That if I try, I’ll fail. Or people will laugh. Or I’ll be too much.

Therapist: That makes so much sense doesn't it. So the anger and holding back was protecting something much softer underneath?

Client: Yes. It was protecting me from trying and possibly failing. It was easier to blame her than myself for not doing it sooner I guess.

Therapist: That feels quite the wisdom coming through there. And is there more beneath that?

Client: Fear I'll be left behind and not reach my potential.

Therapist: There it is. That's the part we can work with to help it to start trusting you more to move towards your true desires. ....

*This is an example of how quickly IFS can get to the root, and how relationships can be nurtured instead of misunderstood.

Becky x ♥️

30/05/2026

“I was so close to leaving everything. I thought my unhappiness was ‘out there’. Now I realise it was in me.”

I’ve heard so many versions of this.

And I almost did it myself.

I hit my 40s and realised I felt numb, unhappy and disconnected. So my brain went looking for a reason.

Maybe it was my marriage. Maybe it was my career. Maybe it was the house, the routine, the responsibilities, the never-ending washing pile. And I just wanted to run. Leave it all behind. Escape.

But, it’s so easy to assume the unhappiness must be “out there”.

Because then we can fix it by changing everything.

Leave. Move. Quit. Start again. Burn it all down and call it freedom.

And sometimes external change is needed. I’m not talking about staying in situations that are harmful or wrong for you.

But sometimes the thing we’re trying to escape isn’t our life.

It’s the parts of us that are exhausted from performing in it.

The good one. The capable one. The easy one. The one who doesn’t need much. The one who smiles and says, “I’m fine,” when she absolutely is not fine, thank you very much.

I didn’t need to blow my life up.

I needed to work out why I wasn't happy inside and do the work to heal it. And once I understood that, my whole external life began to feel so much happier too.

If this feels familiar, I have a small number of half-price IFS therapy and coaching spaces available between now and September.

Six online sessions for £390.

Message me if you’d like a chat.

Becky x ♥️

29/05/2026

Something clients often report after just a few sessions, is this:

Feeling more present in their own lives.

Less trapped in what happened.

Less fifty steps ahead, trying to distract themselves, or predict every possible thing that could go wrong.

Because when there are things from the past that haven’t been processed, your brain and body will do everything they can to protect you from looking back.

Because some part of you still believes those things are too much to face. They don't realise you are grown now, and able to cope.

So it keeps you busy.

Constantly thinking ahead.

Ruminating over what’s already happened.

Restless, distracted, scrolling, doing, fixing, planning, preparing.

Anything to avoid the quiet moment where the past might start knocking.

Sometimes we get stuck in the past, replaying old pain, shame, loss or regret.

Sometimes we get stuck in the future, trying to predict, prevent, prepare and protect.

And when we’re living in either, we’re not really HERE.

We’re not in the only place life is actually happening.

The NOW.

This work isn’t about forcing yourself to “be more present” or shaming yourself for feeling anxious, low, numb or overwhelmed.

It’s about helping the parts of you that are still carrying the past realise you are here now.

Older, safer, more resourced.

And slowly, bit by bit, life stops feeling like something you have to survive.

You start actually living in it - fully.

And being present in your one, beautiful life, is the most precious gift of all.

Becky x ♥️
.......

I’m taking on a small number of half-price online IFS clients between now and September, before I officially launch.

Six sessions for £390.

A space to gently understand the parts of you that keep you away from yourself.

Message me if you’d like to know more.

Becky x ♥️

26/05/2026

Things I won’t do in my coaching practice:

Tell you the only way to be happy is to wake up at 5am and do a full workout before breakfast. Bu**er THAT.

Make you set goals for the future before we’ve looked at what’s keeping you stuck from the past.

Work on your values straight away, before we’ve explored whether they’re actually yours, or whether they’ve been handed to you by family, society, trauma, people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear.

I won’t read your chakras.

Tell you to only eat raw veg.

Or suggest you ditch proper medical advice and only use natural medicine.

I won’t just sit there and listen, nodding in the right places and making soft cooing noises.

I’ll listen, properly.

But I’ll also gently challenge you.

Spot patterns.

Reflect back what you might not be able to see yet.

Help you understand the parts of you that are running the show.

And support you to connect the dots between what happened then and what keeps happening now.

I won’t tell you to “just think positive.”

Or meditate.

Or join a yoga class.

Or write a gratitude list and pretend that fixes the part of you that still feels terrified, ashamed, unseen, rejected, abandoned, or not enough.

Because if your nervous system is still living in an old story, those things can feel a bit like putting a scented candle next to a leaking roof.

Nice.

But not quite the repair job we need.

I won’t rush you into forgiveness.

I won’t tell you to “let it go.”

And I won’t make you feel broken because the usual advice hasn’t worked.

My work is about getting curious about what’s underneath.

The part that overthinks.

The part that people-pleases.

The part that shuts down.

The part that performs.

The part that keeps choosing the same chaos in a different outfit.

Because those parts are not the problem.

They’re usually the protectors.

And when we understand what they’ve been protecting you from, everything starts to make a lot more sense.

Then we can talk about the future.

Not from panic.
Not from performance.

From you.

The real you.

I’ll be officially launching in September, but I’m taking on a handful of half-price online clients between now and then.

Six online sessions for £390.

For anyone who’s ready to stop fixing the surface and start getting curious about what’s underneath.

Becky x

20/05/2026

QUIZ: Are you self-abandoning?
Which feel familiar to you?

☐ I say yes, then feel annoyed afterwards.
☐ I apologise when I haven’t done anything wrong.
☐ I feel responsible for other people’s feelings.
☐ I avoid saying what I really think in case it causes tension.
☐ I feel guilty when I put myself first.
☐ I over-explain because I don’t want to be misunderstood.
☐ I find it hard to ask for what I need.
☐ I scan people’s moods and change myself accordingly.
☐ I replay conversations, worrying I said the wrong thing.
☐ I’m often described as “easy-going”, but inside I feel resentful.
☐ I struggle to know what I want because I’m so used to considering everyone else.
☐ I give people endless chances, even when they hurt me.
☐ I feel like I don't actually know who I am.

Mostly ticks? Yep, I know how that feels.

You’re not broken. You’re probably not “too nice” either.

A part of you may have learned a long time ago that keeping people happy was the safest way to stay loved, included, accepted or out of trouble.

People pleasing is a protective pattern,
and once you see it, you can begin to unlearn it.

I'm offering half-price IFS sessions to help you get to the root cause of your over-giving. £390 for 6 online sessions before I officially launch in September.

Please DM me for more information.

Becky x ♥️

19/05/2026

I have just 1 space left for my half-price IFS sessions before officially launching in September.

This includes 6 online sessions for £390.

IFS is a gentle way of getting to know the different parts of you, especially the parts that have been working hard to protect you for a very long time.

It can be really helpful if you’re noticing patterns like people-pleasing, overthinking, self-criticism, shutting down, or feeling stuck.

Please DM me for more information.

Becky x ♥️

18/05/2026

Six months ago, I began my Internal Family Systems Therapy training.

Six months of online learning, face-to-face training, practice sessions, travelling, tissues, tears, laughter, community and belonging.

And now I can officially call myself a certified Internal Family Systems Therapy practitioner.

IFS changed my life long before it became part of my work.

It helped me understand the parts of me I’d spent years judging. The people-pleaser. The overthinker. The conflict-avoider. The part that kept going, even when I was exhausted.

I began to see they weren’t flaws.

They were protectors.

Parts of me that had worked so hard to keep me safe.

That changed everything.

The way I see myself. The way I see other people. The way I hold space for clients.

This training has been emotional, stretching, beautiful and deeply human.

And I’m so grateful to every person who was part of it.

Certified IFS Therapy practitioner.

Still letting that sink in.

Becky x ♥️

14/05/2026

Sophie had just got off the phone with her mum.

It was meant to be a quick call.

Ten minutes, maybe.

But forty-five minutes later, she was still sitting in her car on the driveway, engine off, keys in her hand, staring at nothing.

Her mum hadn’t shouted, or said anything cruel.

She’d just sighed.

That small, familiar sigh that landed straight in Sophie’s chest.

“Oh, right, ok, don’t worry about me, I'll manage somehow” her mum had said.

Which, of course, meant Sophie *should* worry.

So she cancelled her plans.
Again.

Texted her friend to say she was sorry.
Again.

Told herself it wasn’t a big deal.
Again.

And drove over with some shopping, a prescription, and the version of herself who knew how to smile brightly and say, “It’s fine, Mum. Honestly.”

There’s something that happens when a child becomes the emotional grown-up.

The one who notices every shift in mood.

The one who learns that a sigh can mean emotional abandonment.

The one who becomes fluent in everyone else’s needs before they even know their own.

They don't grow up thinking, “I was parentified.”

They grow up feeling;

“I can’t disappoint anyone.”

“I can’t upset anyone.”

“I need to be useful.”

“I need to be easy.”

“I need to keep everyone ok.”

So they rearrange themselves.

Their plans.
Their feelings.
Their boundaries.
Their whole life, sometimes.

And from the outside, it looks like kindness.

But inside, it can feel like you've totally lost your sense of self.

Because choosing yourself doesn’t feel like self-care.

It feels like betrayal.

And saying “I can’t today” doesn’t feel like a boundary.

It feels like you’ve done something terribly wrong.

But you haven’t.

You were just a child who learned far too early that love felt safest when everyone else was ok first. And when you didn't have needs.

And there comes a time when you really start to wonder where YOU disappeared to, and whether there's a way back.

And there is.

Becky x ♥️
........

I'm taking on a handful of half-price IFS clients before officially launching in September. £390 for 6 online sessions. Please DM me for more information.

13/05/2026

I'm not sure I'll ever get used to how much difference IFS therapy and coaching can make to people's lives. 🥹

It's certainly changed mine.

Becky ❤️ x

I'm taking on a handful of half-price clients before officially launching in September. £390 for 6 online sessions. Please DM me for more information.

11/05/2026

I gave a talk to girls aged 9–13 the other week. It didn’t go well. 🫣

At least, not in the way I’d planned.

I’d gone in with my notes, my structure, my lovely little idea of how it would flow.

And then the room had other plans.

There was movement. Talking. Interrupting. Fidgeting. Questions coming from all directions. Side conversations bubbling away.

And, for a moment, I felt completely thrown.

That little part of me that likes to feel prepared was waving a tiny red flag.

“What is happening?” “Have I lost them?” “Am I doing this wrong?”

What I didn’t know beforehand was that all the girls had ADHD and/or autism.

And looking back, I realised something.

The problem wasn’t the room.

The problem was that I’d walked in expecting the room to match the version I’d created in my head.

Calm. Predictable. Linear. Easy to manage.

Bless me and my optimistic little plan.

But people aren’t plans.

Children definitely aren’t plans.

And nervous systems, attention spans, learning styles and group dynamics don’t always tuck themselves neatly into your bullet points.

So I had to adapt.

I had to shorten things.

Move with the energy.

Answer the questions as they came.

Let go of the version I’d rehearsed and meet the girls who were actually in front of me.

And that was the lesson.

Flexibility isn’t a nice little extra.

It’s the whole thing.

Because we can have the best plan in the world, but if we cling too tightly to how we think something should go, we miss what’s really happening.

That talk didn’t go exactly as I imagined.

But maybe it taught me something far more useful than a smooth, polished session ever could.

Becky x ♥️

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