Labor True Believers, Political Analysis and Satire

08/06/2026

08/06/2026

ON THIS DAY

8 June 793.
Vikings raided the Abbey at Lindisfarne, Northumbria, attacking the Christian heart of the Northumbrian kingdom. It was the beginning of a series of Viking raids around the coast of England and Ireland.

8 June 1042.
King Harthacnut died (aged 23 or 24). He was king of Denmark from 1035 to 1042 and a very unpopular king of England from 1040 to 1042. He was the son of King C**t the Great who ruled Denmark, Norway and England until his death in 1035.

8 June 1536.
English Parliament passed The Second Act of Succession which removed both of Henry VIII’s daughters, Mary (right) and Elizabeth (left) from the line of succession to the throne and declared them “illegitimate”. This did not stop both from going on to become monarchs.

8 June 1794.
Maximilian Robespierre inaugurated the French Revolution’s new state religion known as the “Cult of the Supreme Being”. This day was designated as the 1st day of national celebration of the Supreme Being. Every locality was ordered to hold a commemorative event.

8 June 1913.
Suffragette Emily Davison died (aged 40) of a fractured skull sustained when she was hit by the king’s horse Ajmer after walking on to the course near Tattenham Corner during the running of the Epsom Derby 4 days earlier.

8 June 1916.
Molecular biologist Francis Crick was born in Weston Favell. Crick, James Watson, and Rosalind Franklin, played crucial roles in deciphering the helical structure of the DNA molecule. He was jointly awarded the 1962 Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine

8 June 1924.
George Mallory (right) and Andrew Irvine (left) were last seen alive just 800 feet from the summit of Mount Everest, the world’s highest mountain. There has been speculation they may have even reached the top, but this has not been conclusively proven.

8 June 1929.
Labour MP Margaret Bondfield became the 1st woman to be appointed as a cabinet minister in the UK Westminster Parliament. She was Minister of Labour in the Labour government from 1929 to 1931 led by Ramsay MacDonald.

8 June 1933.
Joan Rivers was born in Brooklyn, New York. She was noted for her heavily self-deprecating and sharply acerbic humour especially towards famous celebrities and politicians. She’s considered a pioneer of women in comedy.

8 June 1949.
George Orwell’s futuristic novel Nineteen Eighty-Four was published in the UK. It depicts a totalitarian tyranny ruled by “Big Brother” and supported by a secret police using mass surveillance. More broadly, Orwell shows how facts are manipulated by governments.

8 June 1955.
Tim Berners-Lee was born in London. He’s best known as the inventor of the World Wide Web by proposing an information management system on 12 March 1989 and by implementing 1st successful internet communication in mid-November 1989.

8 June 1960.
Mick Hucknall was born in Manchester. He gained worldwide success as the lead singer-songwriter of the soul-influenced British pop band Simply Red. The group had 32 UK Top 40 hits and 7 US Top 100 singles. Simply Red have had 2 US and 1 UK No 1 singles.

8 June 1967.
Israeli airplanes attacked the US ship USS Liberty in the Mediterranean during the 6-Day War: 34 crew were killed. The ship was in international waters when hit. The Israeli and US government inquiries ruled it a mistake, but some studies reckon it was deliberate.

8 June 1968.
James Earl Ray, wanted for the murder of Martin Luther King Jnr, was arrested at Heathrow Airport, London, using a Canadian passport with the false name of Ramon George Sneyd. He was extradited to Tennessee, USA and charged and later convicted of King’s murder.

8 June 1968.
Robert F Kennedy’s funeral took place at the St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. In a eulogy, his brother Edward said: “My brother need not be idealised or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life. He should be remembered simply as a good and decent man.”

8 June 1969.
Mick Jagger, Keith Richards and Charlie Watts told Brian Jones he was being replaced in the group by a new member Mick Taylor. Jones had become unreliable due to addictions to drugs and alcohol. On the next day, Jones publicly announced his dismissal from the Stones.

8 June 1974.
Jon Pertwee made his last appearance as the 3rd Doctor Who. Pertwee had played the Doctor as a dapper man of action. He appeared in 5 series, totalling 128 episodes, since 3 January 1970.

8 June 1982.
56 British defence personnel were killed when Argentine planes attacked 2 Royal Fleet Auxiliary (RFA) vessels: Sir Galahad (pictured) and Sir Tristram in Bluff Cove, Falklands Isles during the Falklands War.

8 June 2017.
Conservative Party led by Theresa May won the most seats at the General Election, but lost its overall majority. May had to make a deal with the Ulster DUP to form a new government. Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour Party defied opinion polls, increasing its tally by 31 seats.

8 June 2018.
American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain died (aged 61). His TV programmes and books focused on the links between international culture, cuisine and the human condition.

— Prof Frank McDonough

08/06/2026

One Nation Becomes the Political Vehicle for Australia’s Christian Right

Australia has long prided itself on maintaining a clear separation between church and state. Unlike many nations, it has no established religion, and has a political culture that is broadly secular. For that reason, many progressives assume that organised religious extremism poses little threat to Australian democracy.

That assumption deserves scrutiny.

The rise of One Nation, buoyed by wealthy backers and growing support on the political right, is creating a new vehicle through which reactionary religious forces may seek political influence.

While Australia’s electoral system provides stronger safeguards than that of the United States, recent international experience demonstrates how rapidly political norms can change when well-funded ideological movements gain momentum.

The American example offers a warning. Donald Trump’s electoral success was heavily supported by White Evangelical Christians and conservative Catholics who saw his presidency as a pathway to reshape institutions. While Trump himself was never regarded as a model of Christian virtue, his appointments to the United States Supreme Court ultimately helped overturn federal abortion protections, producing far-reaching consequences for reproductive healthcare across the country.

The lesson is not that Australia will inevitably follow the same path. Rather, it is that highly motivated minority movements can achieve major policy victories when they build effective political coalitions.

That possibility is becoming increasingly relevant in Australia.

At next week’s Church and State conference in Brisbane, One Nation figures Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts are scheduled to participate in a dedicated political panel because it means votes. Church and State was founded by activist David Pellowe with the explicit aim of increasing Christian influence over Australian politics.

The conference has attracted attention for its efforts to mobilise conservative Christian activism around social issues, particularly opposition to transgender rights, abortion access and broader progressive social reforms.

Observers have noted that anti-trans campaigns have increasingly served as a political entry point for activist religious movements. Similar networks were active during the Voice referendum campaign, where sections of the Christian Right played a visible role in organising opposition.

Now abortion appears to be emerging as the next major battleground.

A growing number of anti-abortion activists and politicians have gravitated toward One Nation, including former Coalition figures and conservative campaigners who view the party as a more reliable vehicle for advancing socially conservative causes.

The significance of these developments extends beyond any single issue.

Political Christianity in Australia increasingly operates through a strategy sometimes described as “co-belligerence”—an alliance between conservative Catholics, Evangelicals, Pentecostals and secular culture-war activists who may disagree on theology but share common political goals.

Those goals often include restricting abortion access, opposing LGBTQIA+ rights, promoting religious exemptions from anti-discrimination laws and challenging secular institutions.
The demographic reality, however, is more complex.

According to the 2021 Census, 43.9 per cent of Australians identified as Christian, while 38.9 per cent selected “No Religion.” Religious identification continues to decline, and regular church attendance remains significantly lower than nominal affiliation figures suggest.

Most Australians who identify as Christian are not political activists and do not seek to impose religious doctrine through legislation. Many practise a personal faith centred on community, spirituality and individual morality.

The concern lies not with ordinary believers but with a relatively small activist minority that interprets “religious freedom” as the right to embed its moral worldview within state institutions.

That minority may nevertheless wield influence through broader alliances.

Across the Western world, sections of the far right increasingly frame their politics through a Christian or “Judeo-Christian” identity. In its brief history the concept of Judeo-Christian has taken on several meanings, the first being to unite Americans against Na**sm. Religious affiliation becomes less a matter of faith than a cultural marker distinguishing insiders from outsiders.

Within this framework, opposition to feminism, multiculturalism, Indigenous recognition, immigration and LGBTQIA+ rights can be presented not merely as political preferences but as divinely sanctioned obligations.

Such narratives grant ideological legitimacy to views that might otherwise be recognised as discriminatory.

Women seeking reproductive autonomy become enemies of God’s order. LGBTQIA+ Australians become symbols of moral decline. Indigenous cultural traditions are dismissed as obstacles to a supposedly superior civilisation. Religious and ethnic minorities are portrayed as threats to national identity.

These dynamics should concern anyone committed to pluralistic democracy.

Australia’s secular political system does not exist to suppress religion. It exists to protect freedom of belief for everyone, including Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, atheists and those with no religious affiliation at all.

History demonstrates that when any religious movement acquires sufficient political power to impose its doctrines through law, individual liberty is diminished.

The challenge facing Australia is therefore not whether citizens should be religious. It is whether democratic institutions can continue to resist efforts by highly organised ideological movements to transform personal belief into state-enforced morality.

That debate is no longer theoretical.

It is already underway.

08/06/2026

From Occupy Democrats

BREAKING: Hunter Biden unleashes on vile MAGA creep who claimed he had a th*****me with Obama’s underage daughters!
Hunter Biden had enough and went off on a disgusting right-wing troll after Sharp made a sickening and completely baseless claim that Hunter had a th*****me with Malia and Sasha Obama when they were minors.

“Hey Tim – go f**k yourself you sick and sad little vile man. Who harmed you so deeply that you feel it necessary to spew such hateful garbage? Biden wrote. “Say whatever you want about me I can handle it. I’ve been dealing with do**he bags like you for years.

But leave President Obama’s children out of it. They are truly extraordinary people.”

“Aim at me and leave innocent people out of your hateful mouth,” the newly minted social media star Hunter concluded.

Joe Biden’s troubled younger son has emerged of late to announce seven years of sobriety and enter the rhetorical chess match that is the Internet with bold, self-deprecating posts clapping back at trolls, frank talk about addiction, and defending his stepmother’s new book.

Hunter and his infamous laptop have been bait for MAGA tossers since the dawn of the era, so he’s used to this level of depravity hurled at him to own the libs. But to betray the unspoken rule that minor children of presidents are off limits is just too much.

Biden is no saint, but he is well educated and a principled man at his core. In this case, he’s 100 percent correct that going after Barack and Michelle Obama’s daughters with this kind of vile, outrageous sexual smear is beyond the pale.

Trump’s and therefore the right’s obsession with the Obama family never ends.

A decade after Barack Obama left office, some on the right still can’t stop attacking him and his family with the most depraved lies imaginable.

Hunter told the troll exactly what he deserved to hear.

08/06/2026

Hastie Is Right: Pauline Hanson Has Become Australia’s Most Reliable Trump Ally

By National Herald Editorial

Andrew Hastie’s assessment that Pauline Hanson is “MAGA first” may sound provocative, but it reflects a political reality that has been developing for years.

The One Nation leader has never hidden her admiration for Donald Trump. When Trump won the White House in 2016, Hanson celebrated openly, famously declaring that she saw “a lot of me and what I stand for in Australia” in the incoming US president. Since then, her political alignment with Trump-style populism has only become more pronounced.

Hastie's criticism comes amid growing debate about the extent to which American culture-war politics are influencing Australian conservatism. While the Liberal Party has traditionally positioned itself as a centre-right party grounded in Australian political traditions, One Nation has increasingly embraced themes, language and grievances that closely mirror the MAGA movement in the United States.

The connection is not merely ideological. Hanson has attended events at Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort alongside mining billionaire Gina Rinehart, one of Trump’s most enthusiastic Australian supporters. The symbolism of those appearances was unmistakable: Hanson was not simply observing American politics; she was actively associating herself with the movement that Trump created.

Hastie's argument is that political leaders should place Australian interests above loyalty to any overseas political movement. His criticism of Hanson’s comments regarding the conflict involving Iran reflects that concern. While Australians face rising fuel prices and economic uncertainty resulting from instability in the Middle East, Hanson appeared focused on the strategic objectives of the United States rather than the direct consequences for Australian households.

Whether one agrees with Hastie's assessment or not, there is substantial evidence that Hanson has consistently looked to Trump as a political model. Her focus on immigration, attacks on political elites, opposition to climate policies, criticism of multiculturalism and embrace of culture-war issues all closely resemble the themes that have defined Trump’s political brand.

The more significant question is what One Nation would do if it ever held greater political influence.

Hanson’s supporters argue that she simply advocates common-sense policies that resonate with ordinary Australians. Critics counter that her political instincts suggest she would eagerly import elements of the Trump agenda into Australia if given the opportunity. They point to her admiration for Trump, her repeated defence of his presidency and her willingness to engage with MAGA-aligned networks as evidence of that likelihood.

Australia’s political system differs significantly from that of the United States. Stronger electoral institutions, compulsory voting and different constitutional arrangements make a direct replication of Trumpism difficult. Nevertheless, political movements can cross borders even when institutions do not.

Hastie’s remarks therefore highlight an increasingly important divide on the Australian right. The debate is no longer simply between Labor and conservative parties. It is also about whether Australian conservatism should remain rooted in Australian traditions or increasingly align itself with the populist nationalism associated with Donald Trump.

For many voters, Pauline Hanson has already made that choice. The question now is whether more Australians are prepared to follow her down that path in supporting Donald Trump no matter what?

08/06/2026

When Politicians Excuse Bullying, Voters Remember

The controversy surrounding the “Ditch the Witch” billboards targeting Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan has become a revealing test of political leadership. Unfortunately, some politicians have failed it.

Nationals leader Matt Canavan may have stopped short of endorsing the campaign, saying he “wouldn’t be advertising in this particular way”, but his attempt to redirect criticism towards Labor’s political motives misses the point entirely. Whether one supports or opposes the Allan government is irrelevant. The issue is the language being used and the culture it encourages.

The phrase “ditch the witch” is not a policy critique. It is not a debate about infrastructure, taxation, health, or education. It is a deliberately loaded slogan with a long history of being used to demean women in public life. Australians have seen it before, most infamously during the treatment of former prime minister Julia Gillard. Many thought the country had moved beyond that era.

More disappointing still was Pauline Hanson’s response. Rather than condemning the billboard campaign, Hanson told the Victorian premier to “suck it up, sweetheart”.

For a politician who frequently complains about unfair treatment from political opponents and the media, the response was remarkable in its lack of empathy. Hanson of all people knows what personal attacks, ridicule and public abuse look like. Yet when another female politician becomes the target of gendered insults, her response was not solidarity, not principle, but dismissal.

It was only recently that One Nation banned The Guardian from future One Nation events because that media outlet uses some photographs which make Pauline Hanson look ‘sinister’.

No one is asking politicians to agree with Jacinta Allan’s policies. Criticism is a fundamental part of democracy. Governments should be scrutinised, challenged and held accountable. But there is a difference between attacking policies and normalising personal abuse.

Political leaders help set the tone of public debate. When they shrug off sexist slogans as something women should simply endure, they send a message that bullying is acceptable provided it is politically convenient.

History suggests that voters notice these moments. Politicians who fail to speak up when women are targeted often discover years later that their comments have not been forgotten. Remarks that seem clever or partisan in the heat of the moment can age badly when viewed through the broader lens of fairness and respect.

Australians are perfectly capable of disagreeing with Jacinta Allan’s government while also rejecting the language of personal abuse. In fact, mature democracies depend on that distinction.

The real issue is not whether Labor politicians are defending a struggling government, as Matt Canavan suggests. The real issue is whether elected representatives are willing to draw a line and say that political disagreement should never require degrading language.

Leadership is demonstrated not when defending friends, but when defending standards.

On this occasion, both Matt Canavan and Pauline Hanson had an opportunity to make that clear. Neither rose to the occasion.

Hanson’s response was particularly disappointing. Instead of standing against a slogan that diminishes women in public life, she chose to mock the target.

That may win applause from some corners of the political spectrum today.

But these are exactly the kinds of comments that have a habit of returning years later, reminding voters which politicians were prepared to look the other way when bullying was dressed up as politics.

08/06/2026

AFP urged to investigate Australians allegedly involved in Gaza genocide

(Mohamed Ainullah, Pearls and Irritations)

Human rights organisations have referred evidence to the AFP, urging an investigation into whether Australian-Israeli dual nationals may have been involved in genocide, war crimes or crimes against humanity in Gaza.

Leading human rights and advocacy organisations have called on Australian authorities to investigate whether Australian-Israeli dual nationals may have been involved in alleged war crimes, crimes against humanity or genocide during Israel’s military operations in Gaza.

The Australia Palestine Advocacy Network (APAN), Amnesty International Australia, the Australian Muslim Advocacy Network (AMAN) and several other civil society organisations have formally referred a legal submission to the Australian Federal Police (AFP), urging investigations under Australia’s existing war crimes legislation.

The referral is supported by a substantial evidentiary dossier prepared by the International Centre of Justice for Palestinians (ICJP), containing legal analysis, witness testimony and evidence gathered from survivors, journalists, humanitarian workers and medical professionals who have worked inside Gaza since October 2023.

According to the submission, ICJP collected more than 120 witness statements detailing allegations of attacks on civilians, hospitals, refugee camps and humanitarian infrastructure, as well as claims of starvation, obstruction of aid deliveries and the collapse of Gaza’s healthcare system during the conflict.

The organisations are calling on the AFP to investigate not only senior Israeli political and military figures named in the submission but also any Australian dual nationals who may have participated in military operations that could constitute offences under Australian law.

Australia’s Criminal Code Act 1995 provides jurisdiction to investigate and prosecute genocide, war crimes and crimes against humanity, including conduct alleged to have occurred overseas. The organisations argue that Australian authorities have a legal obligation to examine credible allegations wherever they arise.

The submission urges the AFP to commence a full investigation into the allegations, engage directly with Palestinian victims and survivor communities in Australia, investigate any Australian dual nationals alleged to have participated in hostilities in Gaza, and prepare evidence for possible referral to the Commonwealth Director of Public Prosecutions.

APAN Executive Officer Katie Shammas said Palestinians had spent more than two years documenting what she described as mass death, starvation and the destruction of civilian life in Gaza.

“Now we see more evidence that is extensive, deeply disturbing and impossible to ignore,” Shammas said.

“The question continues to be what it will take for Australian authorities to engage with that evidence seriously and independently and act in a way that is required of them under international law.”

She added that Palestinian victims and survivors deserved the same access to justice afforded to victims of atrocities elsewhere in the world.

“There cannot be one standard for some conflicts and another for a genocide in Gaza,” she said.

Amnesty International Australia’s Occupied Palestinian Territory spokesperson Mohamed Duar said any Australian found to have committed international crimes should be held accountable.

“Any Australian who has committed war crimes, crimes against humanity or genocide must be held to account and face justice,” Duar said.

“The international rules-based order must be respected and upheld, and the Australian Government must honour its obligations to bring accountability for perpetrators of these grave crimes. The impunity must come to an end.”

The submission comes amid growing international efforts to investigate alleged crimes committed during the Gaza conflict. Human rights advocates note that authorities in several countries, including Belgium, Brazil, Canada, France and Sri Lanka, have initiated investigations involving alleged war crimes linked to the conflict.

The referral also points to Australia’s obligations under the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court and notes that arrest warrants have already been issued by the ICC for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and former Defence Minister Yoav Gallant.

Advocacy groups argue that Australia should apply its existing laws consistently and independently, regardless of the nationality or political affiliation of those accused.

The organisations also expressed concern that Palestinian, Arab and Muslim communities increasingly believe that Australian institutions apply different standards of accountability depending on who the victims are.

Whether the AFP proceeds with a formal investigation remains to be seen. However, the referral has intensified calls for Australia to demonstrate that allegations of genocide, war crimes and crimes against humanity will be examined under the rule of law, irrespective of where they occur or who may be involved.

As the conflict in Gaza continues to generate international legal scrutiny, human rights organisations say accountability and equal access to justice remain essential principles that Australia must uphold.



Republished from AMUST

The views expressed in this article may or may not reflect those of Pearls and Irritations.

Note - Mohamed Ainullah is an AMUST subeditor responsible for the Mediascan section of AMUST

08/06/2026

AUSTRALIAN ANNIVERSARIES - 8 JUNE

1805 – John Macarthur returns to New South Wales as a civilian settler; the British Government accepts his resignation from the New South Wales Corps and approves his return.

1856 – Bounty Day is celebrated each year in Norfolk Island, in memory of the arrival of the Pitcairn Islanders.

1919 – Sir Henry Briggs, President of the Western Australian Legislative Council for 13 years, dies.

1928 – Charles Kingsford Smith completes the first trans-Pacific flight from the United States to Australia in the Southern Cross.

1942 – Japanese submarines shell Sydney and Newcastle.

1951 – The School of the Air officially opens.

1983 – The first triplets resulting from in-vitro fertilization were born at the Flinders Medical Centre in Adelaide.

1983 – Homosexuality is decriminalised in the state of New South Wales.

Image - Flag of Norfolk Island

— Wikipedia

08/06/2026

THE TWO GREAT SHEILAS OF AUSTRALIA

A National Herald Political Satire

There they were. Two Australian icons.

Not unlike the famous Two Fat Ladies, except instead of roaring around Britain on a Triumph motorcycle searching for puddings and pork pies, these two were roaming the globe searching for economic theories, iron ore customers and complimentary business-class upgrades.

One was mining billionaire Gina Rinehart. The other was Pauline Hanson.

Together they had become Australia’s newest political double act.
Witnesses claim the pair had grown inseparable in recent months, travelling through Asia discussing policy, economics and whether buffet breakfasts should be considered a human right.

Then came the great pilgrimage to Florida.

At the legendary Mar-a-Lago estate they reportedly met Donald Trump, whom Pauline later described as:

“A man of immense vision, tremendous knowledge and probably the only person I’ve ever met who can talk continuously for three hours without requiring oxygen.”

According to observers, Gina and Pauline listened intently as Trump outlined his plans for world peace, economic prosperity and the proper way to arrange gold furniture.

At one point Trump reportedly winked.

Both women giggled like school girls.

Political history was made.

Back home, Pauline unveiled her revolutionary economic blueprint.
“Running Australia isn’t all that different from running a fish and chip shop,” she explained.

“If somebody orders flake, you give them flake. If they order minimum chips, you give them minimum chips. If they complain, you tell them to bu**er off. That’s basically Treasury.”

Economists were stunned.

The Reserve Bank immediately requested a copy of her battered 1987 cashbook.

Pauline remained confident.

“If I could balance a till on a Friday night after the footy crowd came in, I can balance a federal budget.”

She then produced a grease-stained ledger she claimed was superior to every Treasury forecast produced in the past decade.
Meanwhile Gina outlined her vision for workplace reform.

“Australians simply aren’t working hard enough,” she allegedly declared.

“The 38-hour week is clearly excessive leisure.”

Under the new proposal, employees would be encouraged to work whenever awake and possibly while asleep.

Penalty rates would be replaced with “gratitude”.

Overtime would become “voluntary patriotism”.

Annual leave would be renamed “temporary economic sabotage”.
As for sick leave?

“People need to stop being sick,” Gina reportedly suggested.

Medical experts described the proposal as “technically ambitious.”

The pair also unveiled their retirement strategy.

Superannuation would be abolished.

Instead, Australians would simply save money.

“How hard can it be?” Pauline asked.

“Just don’t spend it.”

Financial planners across the nation immediately burst into tears.
Foreign policy was also addressed.

Pauline explained that as Prime Minister she would spend most of her time overseas promoting Australia.

“People don’t want me sitting in Parliament all day.”

“They want me out there seeing the world.”

“Preferably in business class.”

When questioned about parliamentary attendance records, she remained philosophical.

“Parliament is full of politicians.”

“I’ve already met politicians.”

“What I haven’t seen is the duty-free section of every international airport.”

Under the new arrangement, Gina would reportedly serve as Governor-General, chief economic adviser and unofficial Minister for Iron Ore.

Barnaby Joyce would be left in charge whenever Pauline was travelling.

This announcement caused a brief spike in sales of emergency generators and canned food.

Nevertheless, Pauline remained optimistic.

Approaching eighty years of age presented no obstacle.

“I can use a walker.”

“I can use a wheelchair.”

“I can use one of those little mobility scooters.”

“If anything, it’ll make parliamentary question time more exciting.”
Supporters hailed the plan as visionary.

Critics called it terrifying.

Political scientists called it impossible.

Barnaby called it Tuesday.

As the press conference concluded, the two women departed arm-in-arm toward the parliamentary dining room.

There they would continue their mission to reshape Australia.
One plate of pavlova at a time.

And somewhere in the distance, the ghost of Two Fat Ladies looked down approvingly and said:

“Good heavens. We only wanted to cook.”