31/12/2025
Today marks three years without a drink.
This wasn’t even something I planned to post about this year, which feels very different from the first two. I’ve been trying to understand why it doesn’t feel any easier than before, and the only thing that keeps coming to mind is this: maybe it’s because the world hasn’t gotten any easier either?
After year 1, I felt like I could conquer just about anything. Sharing it felt fulfilling too. There was a wave of support, and messages from people saying it helped them on their own path, which in turn helped me. Year two felt similar, just a bit quieter. And that was okay.
This past year has brought some of the biggest challenges I’ve ever faced. I’m proud of myself for moving through them like I have, even though I’m still working through a lot. In that context, celebrating not drinking almost feels laughable. Although maybe the celebration isn’t the number or a streak at all. Maybe it’s that I didn’t give in even when there was no light to see or air to breathe.
Ultimately, this year I learned how to fall better.
Skateboarding taught me that falling can be beautiful. You eat it on the ruthless concrete. Hard. But if you stick with it long enough, you learn how to fall well. You tuck. You roll. You protect. You get back up a little faster each time. The falls don’t hurt less, but you do trust yourself more.
This year was filled with many soul crushing falls, but I’m also deeply aware that so many people are carrying far, far more than I can ever imagine. My heart is entirely with them. And I suppose that’s why posting about my own 3 year streak of sobriety doesn’t feel as easy as the first 2.
But I want to use it as a moment to say this:
No matter how hard it gets, you are incredible.
You’re incredible if you resist the crutch and fight through it. And you’re incredible if you fall, get up the next day, and try again. That’s what this beautiful life that we were gifted is all about, isn’t it?
Picking ourselves back up.
Learning how to fall.
And giving it a better shot.
Over and over again.
Love,
Johnny