10/23/2025
And I used to think I was smart.
I’m quite a bit 🥴older than this successful gal and yet, I still haven’t quite learned this lesson.
“I can’t give up.”
I get so many of the same scenarios: where people tell me generally the same story, and feel completely alone and hopeless. I see people struggle for YEARS with the same horse.
I’m here to tell you... if you’re not having fun... let it go and sell that sucker! It’s ok! You’re not a failure!
Let me start of by saying I learned this out of necessity. Saying you’re a horse trainer might as well read “You could make more money at McDonald’s and following Dave Ramsey.” But we do it anyway. My first real, solid, winning barrel horse was “Hottie.” I loved her! I could win small stuff, Northside, and small pens, she was great, but my life situation wasn’t. I was getting divorced, I had bills to pay, I had colts to ride and I made the tough decision to “let it go” and I traded her for a truck. I NEEDED that truck.
Is that the end of my story? Did I never find another good horse again? Heck no! They got 100x nicer. Things I didn’t even know I would like, papers I never thought I could ride... I sifted through horse after horse, always selling my nice ones and always finding nicer ones.
Fast forward a few years and I had Jay, I LOVED that horse like my kid. He could win and place at the level I wanted to compete at, if I didn’t hit a barrel, I got a check. He was great! But again, my life situation wasn’t. I was in college, and I wanted to cash flow it, selling Jay meant I could pay cash to finish my degree and graduate college with no student debt. I cried when they loaded him up. I still get to see him here and there, of course I still miss him, but I’m glad he got to make other girls dreams come true too.
I tell you about these two because it was HARD to let them go. I thought I would never have another winner and I’ve had tons.
Now if I could let those good ones go, how hard do you think it was to let the bad ones go? Maybe they weren’t bad horses but they were bad for me. I love a challenge, but some horses simply aren’t worth it.
My first Dash Ta Fame I got stuck on. I wanted one so bad I couldn’t see straight. I worked for years to afford one, I got him broke, and trained, at the end of the day, him and I just weren’t a match. He would give me just enough hope, laying a good run down sporadically enough for me to keep trying. I wasted THOUSANDS on him, between time, riding him, vet bills, etc... and he just wasn’t going to be what I needed. It was a black hole, and I blamed myself. Years later, he still hasn’t shown up to compete... and he should have, he was bred to be a champion, but sometimes that’s just how it goes. If I could do that over, I would have sold him when I was offered good money as a 3 and 4 yr old, instead of taking an incredible loss later. Lesson learned. I bet I’ve had 6 DTF’s by now, all much better than him.
Now when I was younger and super broke, I struggled longer with them than I would today! (Bye Felicia 👋🏻) I got help and rode with trainers to help me overcome situations I hadn’t been in before. I learned a lot of things, and I learned how to pick which problems I will deal with, and which ones I won’t.
First, I had to overcome the thought that I had something to prove, because I don’t. This should be fun. I want to enjoy the time I spend with my horses, and I don’t want to feel like a failure or feel hopeless every time I go to the barn.
On another note, I often hear people tell me they are scared to sell them because what if someone else does good on them? GOOD FOR THEM! Again, that doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means that wasn’t a match. If you HATE a person, are you going to keep trying to be friends with them? Going to try to get them down the isle? NO! You’re going to tell them to peace out and not look back. ✌🏻why do people want to hold on to bad horses so long?
So many people hold on to that a$$hole horse and stifle any chance you have at finding a horse that’s a great fit for you!
Now as much as I like a challenge, and I love my problem kids, I do enjoy having one that’s easy peasy, no BS 💩, and wants to participate at the event every time! I’ve always had to sell that horse in the past, which is why I went to college (and in case I ever broke my leg riding or something lol McDonald’s is just sounding better and better😂), I wanted to get myself in a financial position that if I had that horse, I could turn down ridiculous amounts of money for him just because I wanted to keep one.
I had to go through a gajillion horses to get to that, and a lot of stellar horses that are still winning today with other jockeys.
Selling horses is like dating. Each time you learn something else that you won’t deal with, or what you love most and you apply that to the next one. Expanding your knowledge and skills.
I sell NICE horses everyday that I would be more than happy to keep and go on with myself. It’s a good problem to have. I learned that skill set by not being afraid, and not getting stuck on one.
So to whoever needs to hear this today, it’s is OK to let go. It doesn’t mean you’ve been defeated, or you’re a failure as a rider. It’s ok if someone else can get that horse figured out, because you’re looking for your perfect match. 🦄 When you find that horse, I promise you will wonder why you dealt with all those bad ones so long.... sound familiar?
You're not giving up, you're getting smart.
